Madonna Carpool Karaoke

How I won Miss Universe In 24 hours I would be crowned Miss Universe in Manila. In 48 hours Martial Law would be proclaimed in the Philippines. 1972 would be my brightest year while my country would be plunged into darkness. In the 365 days that followed, I lived a fairytale foretold while my countrymen were cursed with military torture and violent deaths. I was exalted, I was humbled. It was a rollercoaster ride, sometimes rushing upward with adrenalin sometimes plunging into the depths of nauseating military bullying.. I was 16 years old still naïve and reticent. But it was my coming of age and I was ready for the gay competition. And yet without confidence and a fighting spirit. I remember that day like my reflection on a mirror, I woke up smiling and alarmingly positive that cool September morning. I knew I had a date with destiny. I was Miss Philippines, it was my first time to publicly wear women’s attire. I knew it would be a battle for beauty and brains, so I recalled my drag name; Maria Selena Amparo Burgos, I concocted the name from the phone book. Then rehearsed my Tagalog speech of greetings, “ Magandang gabi sa inyong lahat, sana kaluguran at katiwasayan ang dumapo sa ating lahat, mabuhay and Pilipinas “ At the rehearsals the night before, I felt like the ugly duckling waddling onstage in my La Salle Greenhills uniform a white polo barong and black elephant pants and clunky platform shoes. The other 30 contestants were in fashionable 70s hot pants and mini skirts, gaily laughing in cliques, boasting about what they would wear the next evening. When you’re up against professional transvestites, drag queens so comfy in their skins with long manicured fingernails and shaven legs, I didn’t even hold my head high. There was whispering that I may be the dark horse, maybe a dead horse I said to myself. I felt doomed . And backing out was not an option for I had paid the 50 peso registration fee which was my school allowance for a week. I was the last one to register to be a contestant. When Oskar Atendido, Jave Vine’s impresario learned the only country I could take was Miss Philippines since Ricky Reyes was already Mutya ng Pilipinas. I told Oskar the only long gown I can sneak out of my mother’s closet was a shocking terno by Joe Salazar. So I wore the Miss Philippine sash like Gloria Diaz and Margie Moran before me. The venue was the Jade Vine Restaurant on United Nations Avenue, a swank coffee shop by day also famous for their catering, a second floor for wedding receptions and debutante balls and at night Manila’s first gay bar. It was Edong Lazatin and Oskar who helped the coming out hairdressers and fashion designers. The budding gay independence would become singular even spectacular. Manila’s high society led by Chona Kasten, Don Luis Araneta, Mary Prieto, Techie Ysmael, Ting Ting Cojuangco and my high school literature teacher Tony Espejo who were customers and barkada of young couturiers Auggie Cordero, Joe Salazar, Rusty Lopez, Rene Factora, Romulo Estrada, Gary Flores and Oskar Peralta came out and partied every Saturday watching costumed theme nights. Broadway excerpts `from South Pacific with Ernest Santiago as Mitzi Gaynor, Buddy Marquez and hair maverick Roger Barbosa did the show stopping ‘ You Gotta Have a Gimmick ‘ from Gypsy. There was a Top Ten Models night where the slim Benny Gamboa and Boy Lizaso did their perfect pirouettes in exaggerated slouch walk. Mari Boquer did fantastic lip synching as Maria in The Sound of Music. There was even an Oscar Awards night covered by Graphic Magazine showing Larry dela Torre’s as Liz Taylor’s cleavage, Recaredo Valbuena as Jackie Onnasis and Pando Manipon as Barbra Striesand who won Best Actress for Funny Girl. Back to the day of reckoning, in fact the year it was Recaredo Valbuena who won Miss Universe the year prior and it was his dress shop I went to that morning of the contest. I skipped schooI and took a taxi to Taft Avenue. In his psychedelic decorated shop, I sat down while his secretary fetched him. From behind a curtain made of crystal beads strung together. He was lending me faux diamond earrings for the evening gown competition. “ Caring “ which was his nickname, came out of the backroom of sewers holding with both hands the glittering Miss Universe crown. “ Stand in front of the fitting mirror and let me adjust it, “ he said. “ Please don’t play with me, I won’t win anyway. This might jinx my chances, “ I nervously answered him. But when the Miss Universe crown was put on my head, I thought for a second that it might just happen. Then banished the thought. Then I met up for lunch with my classmate Ricky Punzalan who unselfishly waited for my white evening gown being sewn in the dress shop of Auggie Cordero on Herran Street across the old Assumption and beside St. Paul’s college. I remember meeting his Old Guard clientele and their lovely daughters who modeled for Auggie. There was Margie Moran who won Miss Universe in Athens, Greece in the same year I did. Her sister Lulette was also tall and gorgeous. There was the pixie Marilen Ojeda who won 3rd runner up Miss International in Japan the same year as Margie. The dusky Mona Lisa smiling Susan Reyes who would marry basketball heartthrob Francis Armaiz and much later the close companion and lover of Geny Lopez who owned ABS-CBN and Meralco Then there was Joan Salas Gatlin who was a strong contender for Binibining Pilipinas but whose mother called up the board of judges to say her daughter was the girlfriend of Freddie Elizalde whose wife was Josine Loinas who also joined Binibining Pilipinas and was a runner-up. And my friend and neighbor Marimi dela Fuente who had the sexiest smile and body to match. After the pageant I worked with Auggie and enjoyed the perks of the darling of the press. He would assign me to watch over shoots, sketch and illustrate his 70s signature silhouettes which were the “ Gatsby Look “ a 1920s look, his fountain of youth ‘ Denim and Gingham “ with wide elephant pants, puckered tops. “ Julie Yap Daza and Tere Orendain were the top fashion editors of the day and of course Auggie filled the lifestyle pages of many broadsheets. Auggie called me his protégé many decades later, behind my back. But that was Auggie .Back to the back story, of course the sewers of Auggie were busy sewing up his very original outfit, a midi length felt goya tiered skirt of autumn colors of rust, marron, olive green, festooned with giant braids of yarn in contrasting colors of fuchsia, ochre and bottle green like giant passementerie worn with an organza blouse turtle neck to hide his Adam’s apple. Roger Barbosa his BFF was the number one hairdresser of Manila with a shop called Tiffany’s on A. Mabini St. It was owned by the Maurice Arcache’s mom and the cashier was Ligaya who would later be the mom of Lea Salonga. Auggie looked like a young Candice Bergen that night and what I was not aware of was that he was a member of the board of judges. “ Just perfect your walk and pout and stand tall, answer the Q and A with common sense “ said Auggie told me. At 5’10” I had a tendency to slouch with my head down. In the morning light I looked like Olive Oyl in the Popeye cartoon. Skinny endless arms and legs, the butterfly was still a worm. This day I was cocooned into a chrysalis of changing into an attractive contestant for a prestigious fight for glory. By midnight I would emerge a beautiful brilliant butterfly. My white jersey gown was yet be cut and sewn and it was already 3 in the afternoon. It was a halter neck backless gown, the material that looked like underwear jersey the type half slips were made of. It was semi-sheer and the fabric did not fray when you cut so it didn’t need finishing seams which was great because it had that drape factor. What I didn’t notice that night was the front a center slit all the way up to my empire bustline. I was told much later that I lost major points in the long gown competition because as I walked the slit revealed my tighty white Jockey briefs. Revealing my pudenda said Ricky Punzalan. Why I wasn’t briefed about the wonder of panty hose ? During the last night’s rehearsal for the Parade of Nations, a very exotic character, a hairdresser who worked in Manhattan for the snob salon called Kenneth’s. His name was Luigi Javier who did the hair of Jackie Onassis and Pamela Harriman, Tina Chow and China Machado and was visiting Manila to be with friends Petussa Lopez and Ruben Nazareth. He was wearing the shortest denim hot pants and a gigantic afro hairdo like that photo of Penelope Tree by Richard Avedon in Diana Vreeland’s Vogue magazine. He beckoned me to a corner and asked, “ Who will do your hair and make-up tomorrow ? “ I told him that I had no one yet and he smiled and said he would do it. Luigi asked me to bring all the wigs and hairpieces I could find as my real hair was short like a high school student. “ Meet me at 4pm at the Filipinas Hotel across the America Embassy and bring false eye lashes both up and down. “ At 4pm I took a cab to the end of United Nations Avenue to Di Marks, the best pizza place in the 70s. It was named after my classmate Mark Fernandez. I bought a slice of pepperoni and mushrooms, it was the first meal I had all day. The Filipinas Hotel was right beside the restaurant. I walked up to the second floor, my left arm holding my mom’s fuchsia terno made by Joe Salazar. It was a severe crepe A-Line number with the most perfect butterfly sleeves. My other hand held my 3 wigs ( actually called falls used by my mom when she needed an upswept hairdo by Lucas Danao ) in a paper bag with a pair of blue false eyelashes I bought in Greenhills Arcade where we would go when we skipped school. Ruben Nazareth opened the door dressed in a white sando with no underwear and gold pumps. “ Nandito na ang sure winner, “ exclaimed Lady Dee, the older brother of Ruben. He studied my young face without pores. “ Alam ko na, hindi ka magmumukang bakla tonight. Everyone else will have heavy pancake make up with a base of jade foundation. We wont do peel off black eyeliner nor Lumnina which were made of fish scales. No lower eyeliner either. We will the lightest make-up for Miss Philippines. Hahaha, no black false eyelashes which the others will wear in triples, “ exclaimed Luigi as he started to shave my eye brows with a bare Gillette blade which he did with surgical precision. Then with his fingers applied a sheer liquid foundation which made my face dewy and naturally radiant. Then he whipped out a round case of lip gloss marked Biba ( a boutique in London that was the center of trends and cosmetics of fashion back then ) With his pinky he applied the red-pink “ Baby Fever “ rougue on my eyes, cheeks and finally my pouty impatient lips. Dusting powder and then he applied my light blue false lashes. Up and down. In the background, the Nazareth sisters were teasing the life out of the wigs which now resembles cotton candy. My bangs were teased to incorporate into the 3 wigs which were on the top of my head, the other 2 for great volume in the back, one on my nape. Then I looked at the mirror, I resembled Marissa Berenson by Richard Avedon. I stood like a tree, with big teased hair away from my face with my long neck. The ugly duckling had transformed into a swan. Shoulders back, back arched. I put on my National Dress. That moment I felt what Cinderella did, ready to have a ball. That’s when Ricky Punzalan burst into the hotel and on a hanger was my white jersey evening gown and it was 6pm. Onwards to Jade Vine with a side entrance which was the dressing room, the other 29 contestants putting on their colorful, glitzy costumes. The room was hushed as I took the only spot to get dressed right beside the back stage leading onto the stage with a long narrow catwalk. I was beside Miss Denmark Steve de Leon who was in a pinafore dress with a basket of silk flowers, he picked a red cabbage rose to place on my décolletage. Yikes, I stared at my bare feet. Last night another fairy godmother, Chito Grajo promised to lend me his gold pumps. He was from the world famous Bayanihan Dance Troop and these gold shoes was worn as the Singkil Princess. Chito appeared just as the contestants were lining up alphabetically. The shoes were two sizes smaller so before I could panic, Chito took a steak knife and slit the back of the pumps. I felt like the Little Mermaid when she finally has feet, it was like walking on Gillette blades. Painful and was uncomfortable as hell. But the show must go on. Like a prizefighter I studied my competition. No one really wanted to be a hometown representative; instead the all popular exotic countries were taken. There was the whispered sure winner Angel Bautista as a sexy Miss Peru, elegant and slim Miss Italy Ruby Aniban a dead ringer for actress Virna Lisi, lazy eyed Miss Thailand Benjie Alcantara who wore an authentic Thai costume with the towering gold crown and silk shantung costume. Steve de Leon as Miss Denmark was so feminine and pretty. At the end of the evening, these four contesta